Why?

We get the “Why?” question a lot from our kids. Kara and I have always been reticent to use the “Because I said” answer, figuring that it is not an unreasonable inquiry.

But lately I’ve been noticing that regardless of our reasoning or explanation, if the child would rather not obey, the answer is debated until we have to say, “Because I said!” They’re really not just curious as to our rationale, they are unhappy with our decision and figure that if they can engage us in a debate, they can do no worse than cause a delay, and perhaps the disagreeable request will be less frequent if it is always met with this form of protest.

Recently a child tried this game when asked to do a simple household chore, but I would not engage.

“Dad, just tell me why!” the child begged.

I asked, “If I give you a reason, will you just do it and stop arguing it?”

The immediate (and honest) answer was, “If it is a good reason.”

The game goes on.

“How about because it needs to be done, you are restless and bored, you have done no work today and it will give you an opportunity to show obedience and parental respect.”

“Those aren’t good reasons.”

“How about if you don’t, you lose your phone for a day?”

Sadly, many discussions end with this “good” reason.