My Useless Talent

This afternoon Natalie had to prepare a travel brochure for her favorite extraterrestrial planet, Saturn. Among other things, she needed a nickname. Seriously? A nickname? Can't we just call it Saturn? I don’t know much about Saturn except it has rings, has a golden hue, and it is very cold. Here are my top 5: 1. Ringtone 2. Hula Hoop 3. Ring-around-the-Frozey 4. Ring it on! 5. GoldRinger (hard g, should rhyme with finger)

I also came up with the following two titles for articles: “Look at the Ring on that Rock!" and "Saturn Around Bright Eyes." I realized that this is what I do. I have a sister that is "The Returner" and a brother-in-law that is "The Nicknamer" but this is my shtick. Ironically I don't have a name for it. The Linker? It is a nearly worthless skill, but it is mine.

On February 14, Amanda needed help writing a Valentine’s Day poem that included geometry terms. Oh, I am so the parent to help with that. I don’t have it handy but we nailed it. Apparently, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. She was great! I do remember that for the title she couldn’t decide between “To Acute Boy” and “Love is in the Area.” So she just put one on top and one on bottom. (Stupid Cubedpid was the 2nd runner-up.)

Closely related to this talent is of thinking of baby names that when said in combination with the last name are special. Best ever? Our friend Joy Turner was expecting so at a party we were brainstorming (it was obviously a rager party.) I still smile at the four-word winner: "Grandma’s Getting Bedsores, Better." (She didn't go with that.)