Excuses

Tonight we had asparagus with our dinner. I told the children that they were to eat the asparagus first, so as to spare the excuse “I’m full.” Actually it was only Ryan and Erika, and I only required them to eat one piece. Ryan just bit the bullet and ate it. Erika refused. I told her that she would stay seated at the table until she ate, and she was to start with the vegetable. This kicked off a 40-minute debate. Without re-hashing the entire inane discussion, here were her arguments against:

· She doesn’t like asparagus

· I should have warned her yesterday so she could have time to mentally ready herself

· I shouldn’t be concerned about her nutrition and health; that is her concern

· She wasn’t hungry anyway because she had a big lunch (a sandwich, chips and water)

· She would get hungry later, but she would not eat asparagus. Did I want her to go to bed hungry?

· She would prefer to just miss the meal altogether than sit there until bedtime (and then eat cereal later, though she didn’t say it)

· She already understands the concept of obedience; is not that more important than asparagus?

· She would be more obedient if I didn’t ask her to eat things she doesn’t like or do things she doesn’t want to. Don’t I want a more obedient daughter?

· She might not like me and when I’m older she may not call often. Surely I value her love and affection more than I care about her eating asparagus.

I didn’t buy any of these excuses, providing answers that basically revolved around the theme that I can’t turn off caring about her, and that I felt it was more important to be a good parent than a popular one. In what was probably “bad parenting” I did bite on a deal she offered me: She will eat a full helping of broccoli tomorrow night (which she doesn’t like either) without complaint if I would give her a pass on the asparagus tonight. I am telling myself it was just a little mercy, not weakness. Besides she should be better off nutritionally with the compromise.