Dairy Queen Nation

Bemoaning the current political environment, a friend told me he was unhappy with all the presidential candidates. He went as far as saying, “If Obama wins, I say that Texas should exercise it right to leave the nation and become its own country.” My bewilderment must have shown. He continued, “Texas is the only state in the union that has that right, it’s in writing, back when they became a state. You can look it up.”

I didn’t have to, it would not surprise me one bit. I couldn’t help but play devil’s advocate for just a minute. I asked, “What if the US decided not to honor that deal?” He said, “They have to. It’s in writing”

See, that’s the thing with secession agreements with the most powerful sovereign on earth. Who is going to enforce it? What if they change their mind?  I would advise against entering into them, if that ever comes across your desk.  Call me a realist, but it ain’t gonna happen. Texas tried seceding 150 years ago, along with 10 other states and they had their keisters handed to them by the Union.

If it were successful I shudder to think of the implications. We’d have to learn to clap during (not after) the new National Anthem “Deep in the Heart of Texas.” Without considering the acronym, they would hastily name it The Republic of Texas. What else?  Taxes would skyrocket as we’d have to maintain a separate army and border patrol. There’s a job for you, Texarkana border patrol. We’d probably have to give NASA back so Houston’s unemployed will be very smart. The new money would likely feature Jim Bowie, Davey Crockett, Sam Houston, and Tom Landry. Maybe Bob Watson could be on some coins.

p.s. I did look it up and it is not true. Even on TexasSecede.com it pretty clearly  debunks the myth.