One of my favorite self-deprecating themes is the size of my head. I’m not talking “ego;” I’m referring to the actual skull girth. It seems to be super-sized. It always seems worse after a short haircut, trying on one of my brothers’ fitted ball caps, or looking at the family portrait with seven normal-sized-head siblings.
There’s nothing you can do to change your head size. Diet and exercise don’t work. There is no such thing a skull contraction surgery or “nimble noggin” pills. Even disguises like wearing stripes seem impractical at best. You just have to live with it. I am 100% reconciled to my head size so I think it is fair game for a little fun.
Yesterday I came across a handheld magnifying glass in my parents' living room. Maybe it was the family portrait staring down at me, but I couldn't help but consider that people could use it to see what others would look like with a “David Head.” It was a funny thought and I enjoyed a few chuckles but I didn’t share it with anyone because (1) it is really hard to talk and almost impossible if I am cracking myself up and (2) no one else thinks its funny.
But it is funny. It makes me think that maybe Mom and Dad had a meeting with the siblings back in ‘87 and told them that even though brother has an oversized head, they should not tease or make fun. (There must have been an in-law meeting in '97.)
I now have reason to believe that this session has not yet happened with the next generation. My 5-year-old niece Lauren found the same magnifying glass, looked at me through it and said, “Uncle David, your head is E-NOR-MOUS!”
I got a smile from that the rest of the evening.
2 comments:
I'll join the big "head" club with you. My head is about the same size as my husbands. My poor son inherited my big head- in fact the doctors sent him to get a cat scan at age 2 to make sure everything was ok up there!
thanks for letting me know I was one of the seven!!!
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