Lost in Translation

I am becoming convinced that my children aren’t just disobedient, disrespectful, etc. There must be a communication gap between what we are saying and what they are hearing. That has to be it. For example, when we say “Don’t fight with your sister” what is heard is far different: Do not fight unless provoked, then anything you do or say is justified, and it will be all her fault.

 

Other examples are:

Said: It is time for bed; go to bed

Heard: Tell me how you’d feel about going to bed right now, and all the reasons we should let you stay up a little longer. Use a whiny voice too.

Said: Turn the TV off now

Heard: Turn the TV off when you reach a good stopping point, and if you keep changing channels when commercials come on, you can leave it on indefinitely.

Said: Take out the trash

Heard: Question the institution of chores and recite for me all the reasons you feel overworked.

Said: Good morning, time to get up.

Heard: Do your best impression of a walrus in pain.