What if?

Kara and I have been noticing that the children often use the excuse of “I didn’t know that was a rule” when confronted about misbehavior. To start the year out right (and hopefully to eliminate any confusion) we made a list of rules, expectations, punishments, and rewards. We read it to them Monday night and had each child sign it. Their signature was to show that they understood the rules (not necessarily agreed to them.)

In short, we clarified things like bedtimes and property rights, and reviewed expectations of cleanliness of bedrooms, language, and all media forms. For each minor infraction they will receive a strike, and three strikes within a 24-hour period will result in a day-long ban of cell phone or TV, parents’ choice. Major infractions are three strikes. We also provided rewards for strike-free behavior all week and other things.

A couple of them were determined to create “What if?” scenarios, either to expose flaws in the plan or at a minimum establish the precedent of exceptions.

“What if it is a school night, but we’re sick, do bedtimes still apply?”

“What if Mom or Dad tells us to say a bad word, and we refuse. Do we still get a strike for disobedience?”

“What if Natalie is on fire, and in trying to douse it you think we are hitting her, is that still a strike?”

“What if we’re trying for the monthly 'perfect attendance' reward, but three weeks into the month the US government is overthrown by Somalia and school is canceled. Do we still get to have a sleepover?”

We told them that we would try to be fair in every case, but that if the US government falls to any tribal nation or if a sibling is on fire, the list is void.