Thursday, January 8, 2009

Santa Anna

In helping Erika with her Texas History homework, I came across the full name of the Mexican Alamo chief “Santa Anna.” Check out this whopper: Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón.

That is 13 words; 28 syllables. I have six. It has four accent marks, three prepositions, AND a conjunction. I have none of these. It’s not a name; it is a run-on sentence!

I wonder how he fit all that on his papers at school or on DMV forms. Was there another Antonio is his class so they were known as “Antonio R.” and “Antonio d.P.M.S.d.S.A.y.P.d.L.?”

When his mom was mad did she call him by his full name? Did his friends just call him Tony? I guess the bullies could have called him María. Too bad West Side Story wasn’t yet written; he could have played both leads. Maybe that is why Davey Crockett and Jim Bowie were so confident; some Mexican General named María is attacking. How bad could it be?

If he played ball, I can’t even imagine how small the letters would have to be on his jersey. And poor loud speaker guy. “Batting sixth, shortstop, Antonio de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón.” Even worse the play-by-play guy. “Sharp hit grounder to second, Gomez flips to de Padua María Severino López de Santa Anna y Pérez de Lebrón, and on to first for the double play.”

Finally, and in the spirit of Dave Barry, Santa Anna could have rearranged the letters in his name to spell "No one landed on my belt, a tiara, a dive, a pea, or on an azure Pez dispenser."

But he probably didn't.

2 comments:

jamie hixon said...

Did you actually think of that last sentence, or did you have a computer do that?

David said...

It was all me; I know, scary. I don't know how to make a computer do that.