When it comes to my clothing, I’m a simple man. I like to wear jeans and a shirt. It can be a tee, a button up, or a polo, any color, but usually gray or blue or white. I give it about four seconds of thought in the morning, and much of the choice has to do with what is hanging closest to me. I just don’t really care, I mean, I care about cleanliness and modesty, but things like color-coordination and fashion just don’t factor in.
Yesterday Kara bought an outfit for me: brown plaid shorts and a brown shirt. I mean, I’m wearing it now, and she says I look good, but I kind of feel like a monkey, a cute monkey. I’m just not an “outfit” kind of guy. What is up with that? I didn’t wear outfits back when I was courting her. Did she think, “Yeah, I’ll marry him but I’ll dress him differently; I’ll plaid him up.” In 20 years I have never thought, “You know, Kara would look good if she wore these here green Capris” or “This would be cute on her.”
I have two theories. First, maybe the fact that my clothing choices are virtually unchanged since 1989 is part of the problem. Maybe I’m stuck in an era and have slipped terribly out of mode. But I don’t remember jeans going out of style or plaid shorts becoming all the rage. But maybe, I wouldn't know. I apparently missed the memo on tube socks.
The second theory is upbringing. Boys play with baseball cards and girls play with dolls. Boys don’t question what the men pictured are wearing, and if the card itself has a few creases or imperfections, that’s OK, you are just glad to have it. If girls tire of what their dolls are wearing, they change its clothes. I’m her life-size Ken. (And she’s my mint condition Babe Ruth.)
4 comments:
hilarious!!
Glad you didn't refer to Kara as your "Barbie!"
I too am a fan of the plaid shorts.
When a Ken's Babe Ruth stops buying cool new outfits, that's when Ken worries...
Oh ya, I think of your cute family EVERY time I drive past the new 7-11 on the toll road and just south of main.
this could have been written by brian...esp. the grey t-shirt part and the "whatever is closest" part.
The "it looks good on you" comment reminded me of an "outfit" Michele talked me into--black silk tee (that I actually liked) with black and purple-ish plaid shorts and a matching suit-ish jacket. It did match, but I felt very uncomfortable wearing it, which happened a total of once.
At least we don't have Debbie and Mindy complaining about a "bert and ernie" ensemble.
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