Last night I made pork chops for dinner. My niece was here, and Erika’s friend but I was sure we’d have plenty. I mean, there were seven “breakfast” chops which are kind of small but Kara never eats dinner, and of my four kids, I average about 1½ takers. So, niece plus friend plus an optimistic two of my kids...yeah we have plenty. Besides, Ryan was making a pre-dinner quesadilla.
When Ryan asked if his friend might stay for dinner I only hesitated because friends dad is a skilled chef. This was just Shake ‘n Bake. Even with a French accent it sounds plain. Yeah, OK, we always have a food surplus, bring it on.
As an ode to my poor meal construction skills, I thought, “I’ll make stuffing and cut up a pineapple.” We rarely have stuffing other than on Thanksgiving but the Stove Top was right next to the Shake 'n Bake. (I think Kara alphabetized the pantry.) Stuffing it is; it will be like a Quaker Luau. Maybe it will be a big hit: Pilgrim's Pineapple Pork
But then Erika’s friend had to go home and Ryan’s friend said he had already eaten. I’m not sure if there was a correlation between these events and my announced cuisine, but at least there should be plenty. I remembered that even Natalie likes pork chops so we might get all four at the table. Seven chops divided by 5 (4+1) is still 1 point something. After prayers it happened fast: Ryan and Nat took two. Awesome. Amanda, Leah, and Erika got one. 2+2+3 = 7. Perfect. But wait. It was not until I was staring forlornly at the empty pan that I realized that I had forgotten to count the chef. No problem; I'll just eat what they don't. It turns out that the chops were real tasty; every kid ate every bite. At least my heart was full.
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Same thing happened to me last night. Mom said she wasn't in the mood for dinner (recovering from the Lunch Bunch's outing to Cal Piz Kit) and Jeff was playing tennis with Heather (he won't show up until after midnight!), so it was gonna be Eric and me. I heated up some of my famous multi can chile, fried up some hash browns and boiled some kosher wieners for two.
No sooner had I dished up a hearty portion for Eric, when Jeff returns (with Heather), inspected what was on the stove and invited Heather to join him for supper. "You'll like Dad's cooking." he said. So I modestly acceded. After all, there was still a large tablespoon of chile, hash browns and wieners in the pans. As I reached for an empty plate from the cupboard, Mom looked up from her Teen Challenge Jeopardy program (DVR'd from last year sometime) and asked,"Oh, is that for me? Thank you, Dear."
So, I had an apple and a piece of cheese.
I had stuffing and pineapple. (And I didn't even have the option of mint jelly.)
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