Mockumentary

My girls sometimes watch a program called “Toddlers and Tiaras.” From my study I can hear it and it is so funny yet so sad. At face value, it is just kind of a documentary about families in the “kiddie beauty pageant” circuit. It doesn’t openly mock the participants but I can’t help but think there is an intentional humorous slant to it.

I find it interesting that everyone says the exact same thing to justify the insanity. “A course we thought Bobbi Sue Ellen Jolene was adorable but we’re only doin’ all this because she lahks to do it.” Cut to the girl, “I like the big trophies. And dressin’ up all purty and folks complmintin’ me.” Back to the mother, “It isn’t that importint to us, we jis practice things like smiling, waving and playing the fiddle sixteen hours a day. Cut to the front of the lot where four, half-dressed younger siblings are playing with a ferret and gun powder by an open well.

Mom continues, “We all have to make sacrifices, and we did have to trade in the double-wide fer the glamour shots and dresses but sometimes the pageants have a really nice buffet.” Cut to the dad. “Yeah, I think I ate 30 of them deep-fried prawns in Tuscaloosa - done near wrecked my insides. Dang near couldn’t finish the Frito pie.” Cut back to the mother. ”Yeah, that was a pretty good weekend for Bobbi Sue. She got 23^rd place in the 6-year-old division. You know, with the make-up she looked at least 7½. I think she woulda done better if the 3^rd judge coulda posted bail. At least we won a lawn jockey, a big bag of pork rinds and a poster of Jon Benet.”