Decisions, Decisions

For a break in the lunchtime sandwich routine, I bought some frozen meals. But I always struggle with the oven decision: microwave or conventional. I start with the hope that the conventional oven route won’t take too long.

Today the instructions read Step 1. Bake at 350 for 25 minutes. Cool, I could wait that long. Then step two was to stir contents, and then continue baking another 25 minutes. It’s like they were embarrassed to put the real time on there, so they broke it up into several steps. Maybe we wouldn’t notice the seasons changing. Step 3: Do the Hokey Pokey and then cook another 35 minutes. Step 4: Keep baking, maybe 25 more minutes; eat a sandwich to tide you over. Step 5: While still baking, shave. Step 6: Grow a beard. Step 7: Paint something and let it dry.

Clearly, this meal is best when cooked on low heat for a very long time. The other “oven option” is microwave on High for 8 seconds. There is no middle of the road, is there? Could we try “Medium” on the microwave? I’d be willing to wait 20 seconds. Maybe it’s because no one ever uses the other settings. I only do “time” and “start;” I suppose they know their audience. Of course I chose option 2.

So the good news is that I ate promptly, but the bad news is that it tasted like Silly Putty. Well, there was a hint of bicycle tire and red crayon. But I don’t care; if taste was really important to me, I wouldn’t be eating this anyway.